Monday, May 3, 2010

Jenny: States We've Passed Through

A combination of hunger, anxiety and claustraphobia saturated my physical form as I left New York. New York is a cool state. Just ask anyone who isn't from there. Even people from California think New York is cool. Everyone who lives in New York wants to leave and go to Massachusetts. Or Florida. Or Ohio. Or ANYWHERE ELSE.
Great things about New York: apples, maple syrup, Saratoga water, clever custom plates, Stewart's, snow, 50 South, Marquis Warner.

New Jersey. This is the one they call The Garden State, but is more famous for being covered in litter. You can never miss New York more than when you are in New Jersey. We tried to get a hotel but failed. We didnt realize that having the most millionaire families in America would drive the hotel rates up so high.

Pennsylvania is New England's bowels. When you're in New Jersey, you can pretend you're still in New England. You can tell yourself that its not getting hotter, and the food isnt getting crappier, and the people stupider. But once you hit Pennsylvania... its all downhill. And uphill and downhill. The South is coming, Mid-Atlantic is its harbinger. We stayed at a creepy Travelodge here. I dont even remember what city. But my credit card does.

I wasnt in this state long enough to show you a map of it. Who is this beruffled man? George Culvert the Baron of Maryland. He got kicked out of Parliament for being a Catholic.

This bespecktacled fellow? Why it's our good friend John "Sunshine On My Gosh Darned Shoulders" Denver. We were in West Virginia for less than an hour, but it was as green and good and holy as John Denver said it would be.

Joseph hates Virginia. He used to live there and all hell broke loose. I try to hate it with him, but alas, they had some delicious blue crab, fresh caught, you know how I am with food. This is the seal of the Commonwealth of Virginia. It reads, Sic Semper Tyrannis: Thus Always to Tyrants. The Lady standing up on Tyranny is Virtue, not Timothy McVeigh, John Wilkes Booth, or Brutus. Virtue, not Terror, stands upon Tyranny.

Remember that.

We stayed in a HoJo in Roanoke. Upon leaving I noticed the heat for the first time in 4 years.

Where we are now:
Powell, Tennessee. Greenest State in the Land of the Free. I would have totally voted for Davy Crockett, except, well I would have been a slave. And even if I wasn't a slave, neither women nor Negroes were permitted to vote.

The air is dense as fog here, and it rained last night. I miss the lovely crisp New York air, smooth with wood smoke and lavender.

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