Joseph Recounts the Journey

So day one….

But first, Why do I always start out stories with So…

So… Day one.


We got a late start with all the packing we had not done and all the cleaning we had not had time to do and all the not wanting to really do this we were feeling we kinda put things off a bit.

Lesson one. When packing up to move and you only own one car, get done early so you can run all those errands you need to do BEFORE hooking a 2000 pound trailer onto the back of your car. I mean it is seriously impossible to take a bunch of stuff to the Salvation Army when you have no room in the car for anything but you and Jenny and the cat.

Now lets talk about the cat. I tell Jenny and the cat all the time that I hate him (the cat). This is clearly not true. I happen to adore him no matter how many times he wakes me up or makes me step on him or is just in general a VERY VERY VERY bad cat. But I do love him. In fact I love him so much that I took Jenny and I to the vet to ask for a sedative for the cat because he does not travel well. Now it is true that the vet is kind of hot and I may not have been paying super close attention but this is sort of what I remember.

Joseph: “Can you give us a sedative for the cat? We're going on a really long car ride.”

Vet Lady: “Just give him benedryl.”


Joseph: “How much?”

Vet Lady : “A quarter tablet, or 1.3 ml of children's benedryl.”

Joseph: “OK!”

See not a lot of conversation for me to be distracted by her hotness even if Jenny was.

So lesson two. When giving your cat a medication that he has never had before, try it out before hand or he will throw up all over YOUR head and not Jenny's. All down your back, and all over the seat and all over you and not anywhere near Jenny and all over your seat and hat and back and not anywhere near Jenny and then Jenny will say “Oh its just because he loves you."

We were on our way to dinner at a great little restaurant that gives these frequent diner cards and we were going to try and use ours for $10 off.

After getting cleaned up in the parking lot of Price Chopper. We headed to the restaurant and had a decent meal, however….

Lesson Three: When in a hurry make sure the restaurant knows whose section they put you in so you don’t sit there for 45 minutes before you finally get someone’s attention and they come over and say “Oh sorry there was a mistake and no one knew whose section you were in.” It was a good meal though and they make a great chicken sandwich. And they did give us our whole meal for free because they forgot the horseradish sauce when we asked for it.

Then we got on the road and headed out. We drove 5 hours or so and then we couldn’t stay awake anymore. So off we pull to an EconoLo(Bleep out of the corporate name) and Jenny looks online at Priceli(bleep out of the corporate name) and finds a better deal about 14 minutes away. So I say “Sorry we found a rate of 65 including tax so were going to go there.”

Lesson Four: Don’t hand your credit card to someone unless they WRITE down how much they are going to charge you no matter what they SAY. They can just say they said something different later on. Then you pay WAY too much for the dirtiest smelliest hotel ever!

Lesson Five: No matter what you do or endure, it really is an adventure, no matter how bad or stressful it is when right next to you is someone you love more than breath and they are happy to be with you in this life.

NEXT TIME: An explanation of how we got here and why without blame or accusation. Think I can do that. Or How did dis 'appen? (spoken in a Janeane Garofalo french accent).

Jenny: What Is the Quacklemeister Life?

Many people ask Joseph and I questions about our life, what we are up to, how we met, why we do what we do and for how many jelly beans, etc. And sometimes we ask ourselves the same questions. So we decided the best way to muse and disseminate was through this blog. We also have tons of friends that we lost to frequent and abrupt cross-country moves. We like to keep in touch, but we're really bad at it.


So with good intentions in one hand and technology in the other I bring you: The Quacklemeister Life.

IS THIS BLOG FOR YOU?

Have you ever met Jenny or Joseph Quacklemeister?


Do you like Jenny or Joseph Quacklemeister and/or want and/or used to be friends with either or both of them?


Do you enjoy reading dissemination or musings?


Do you have questions that you'd like answered?


If you answered yes to any of these questions, this blog is for you.

Introducing The Quacklemeisters

Why Quacklemeister? It's a name I made up in high school when forced to explain, pseudo-anonymously how our relationship came to be. It’s unique, meaningless name that screams US! Those weird people who live (insert our current address).

Me: Jenny Blankety- a 22-year-old woman. Like a frozen computer screen, I’m confused, but working on it.

My boyfriend/fiancé/soulmate: Joseph Quacklemeister, 39. Professional calmnifier.

My cat: Prince Albert Unpierced Mushroomcap. Our cat is a very very very bad cat.

Ex-Mrs. Quacklemeister: Juliana Snackcrackerson, fyi.

Joseph’s daughter: Jasmine Snackscrackerson-Quacklemeister, 10. No, you're right, it should be Jasmine Quacklemeister-Snackcrackerson, but that’s another post for another time.

Side note: Some of you may be asking, what about the Valentines (Apex, Dalia, Aryn, et al)? Here is the corporate approved answer:

The Valentines is a religious organization whose members worship the number 17. This is not a religious blog. The Quacklemeisters do not approve or disapprove of any religion. Please redial the number and try again.

The Absolute Truth

I will tell the absolute truth. This is the internet and I understand that things can become unreasonable. If at any point telling the absolute truth on this blog becomes unreasonable, I will revert to AbsTru. AbsTru is a censoring program I installed in my brain. It rewords facts, data, opinions and events into TruNuggets. TruNuggets are easily digestible for those with sensitive brains. They’re salty, chewy and flavored with natural truth extract.

AbsTru TruNuggets: When you can’t chew what’s true!

Readers:
Questions? Photos? Letters? Postcards? Opinionated Editorials? Recipes? Reviews? Advice? Long Distance Art/Performance?
Tells us what you want and we will deliver!

The Inaugural Quack

FAQ

I heard you guys were moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Did the person who told me this lie?

No, you were not lied to. We are indeed moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico. We left the great empirical state of New York on Friday April 30, 2010 at 8pm.

Why would you want to move away... don't you love us anymore?

Yes, we love you. Jenny does not want to move but ex-Mrs. Quacklemeister is taking too much of Joseph's money, so we have to go to New Mexico to fight it. Plus, Joseph wants to see his daughter, Jasmine Quacklemeister, age 10.

I helped you move or gave you a gift, are you grateful?

No, we're not grateful. We're thankful. Which is much more meaningful in our eyes.

Are you ever coming back?

Jenny plans to come back to attend RPI in 2014 or so. And we also plan to go on splendid Adirondack vacays too.

Where are you keeping the cat?

Our cat, Prince Albert Unpierced Mushroomcap, stays with us in the hotel, and he rides on top of a suitcase in the car.

Did you know that having animals roaming the car is dangerous?

Yeah, but he yowls if he's in the carrier.

Does Jenny have a job?

Lol. She's working on it.

Does Joseph have a job?

Yes. Same as the one in New York.

Can I ask you another question?

Yup. Just nail them up in the comments! Specify who (Jenny or Joseph or both) you want to answer.